Us fatsos have it coming very soon

by

Published: March 14,2010

Tags: healthcare plan, letter to the editor, MBJ

Editor,

I fear that we fat people are going to be vilified. In an effort to get the national health plan passed, the public will be told that fat people are the major cause of high medical costs in this country. There are some who are convinced that diabetes, cardiovascular disease, cancer, warts, etc., are caused by being fat and that genetics has nothing to do with it. They think that if people would just lose weight, the world would be right.

I have been vilified before. The day I completed my military obligation and earned my honorable discharge from the Army, I was in the Newark, N.J., airport. I was waiting for the plane that would finally bring me home. As I walked through the airport in my Class “A” Uniform, some woman spat at me and called me a “baby killer.”

In those days, the anti-war factions and draft dodgers had vilified all GIs and labeled them as murderers of children. The fact was that the crux of my military service was as a director of a microbiology department in a huge 1,000-bed hospital in Stuttgart, Germany. Even though I am a veteran, I can assure you that I have never harmed anyone’s baby.

My daddy told me, “Son, don’t ever fool with women who are on a diet — they’re always in a bad mood.” Soon, the entire country will be on a diet and they will need something to vent their frustrations on.  Look out fatsos!

It is politically incorrect to call certain people by certain names. However, all stops will be out when it comes to us fat folks. Biased, skinny hecklers will call us by any name they wish. Perhaps our recent economic flop could somehow be blamed on us.  Then, skinny thugs could beat us up and steal our money without repercussion.

I can see it all now, a national government program called “FINK” — Fat Is Not Kool. (Cool is misspelled, but they won’t notice. When brought to their attention, they would simply change the spelling in all government schools.)

I read recently that gangs are operating in the jungles of Peru to murder innocent people. After rendering down their victim’s fat, they sell it for big bucks to European cosmetic companies.

Hey, perhaps if the spin-doctors can conjure up enough anti-fat sentiment, this could become a lucrative market in this country. It would be a good way of disposing of our sickly fatties and older people (who are usually fat). Eventually, it would provide an entire population of young, skinny Americans who ride bikes everywhere, and because they’re not fat, they won’t require medical care, even though it’s free.

The Obama people will love this healthcare plan.

 

Ed Field

Natchez

[RSS Feed] [del.icio.us]



To sign up for Mississippi Business Daily Updates, click here.

POST A COMMENT

 

Twang & Tourism: The Country Music Trail

Our annual "Come See Us" magazine offers ideas for spots in Mississippi ranging from golf to culture to history to food. Click the photo for ideas, stories and access to the digital edition of this year's magazine.

FOLLOW THE MBJ ON TWITTER

Top Posts & Pages

%d bloggers like this: