CARTER: Romney may have generational edge in repelling space invaders

June 29, 2012

Politics

 

 

 

 Americans give President Obama only so-so marks on his handling of the economy. But nearly two out of three say he’s the leader they want calling the shots once an armada of flying saucers comes over the horizon, National Geographic’s “Aliens Among Us” poll found.

The magazine surveyed a random nationwide sample of 1,114 Americans from May 21 to 29, finding 65 percent of respondents designating Obama as the resolute leader we needed to repel the Purple People Eaters or whatever outer-space force attacked us.

Perhaps Americans’ faith rests in the leadership Obama showed in tirelessly tracking Osama bin Laden after his White House predecessor, George W. Bush, gave up the chase, conceding he neither knew the whereabouts of the 9-11 mastermind nor much cared.

We all know Obama showed some gunslinger traits in authorizing the Navy Seal team raid that led to the al-Qaeda leader’s death. He pledged he’d get the bad guy and did – and put his political fate on the line to do it.

That said, however, Obama may have some shortcomings in a showdowns with aliens, not being fully versed in the lore of alien invasions.

The majority of Americans see Obama’s Grande-sized ears as being first-rate antennas for picking up early signs of an alien invasion. As we all know, preparation is the key to repelling alien invasions. That’s why they give him the edge over Romney on the early-alert issue.

But folks could be overlooking a couple of factors:

>>>Those large ears are tailor-made for concealing chips that a stealthy alien may be able to implant behind them. Once inserted, the chips can be used to receive orders transmitted from the invaders. These orders, of course, would tell our leader not to bother with any sort of alien invasion alerts or preparation.

>>>Romney, being a child of the ’50s, surely spent Saturdays at the matinee watching those black-and-white alien invasion movies. From these, the young Romney would have learned what works and does not work in such circumstances.

Plus, you would have to believe he is of the generation that has a healthy distrust of promises made by aliens. As you recall, Rod Serling taught us what can happen when we let our guard down. Remember that Twilight Zone episode in which aliens landed and presented a book titled “To Serve Man”? Humans boarded the alien’s flying saucer for a trip back to their promised paradise planet. Only as the last human boarded was it discovered that “To Serve Man” was actually a cookbook.

 

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