Everyone knows that Mississippi is one of the fattest states in America (translation: on Earth).
The eatin’ season down here usually starts the first week of October with the Mississippi State Fair and ends sometime after the Super Bowl. From college tailgates to harvest festivals, Mississippians are fixing to do what we do best.
And just in case you’re heading to the Fair and worried that some politically-correct carpetbagging hippie salad bar is going to show up on your Midway this year, fear not.
No salad would dare visit our great Fair. Instead, legions of cotton candy, funnel cake and turkey leg vendors will be firing up their sugary grease buckets one more time with enough artery-clogging goodness to burn a hole through the ozone layer above the Coliseum.
We love the smell of chocolate-covered corn dogs in the morning washed down with some lemonade- that’s a fruit, right? Or maybe a virgin strawberry daiquiri would be more slimming?
I can’t wait for the Fair food. But it’s a new day in Mississippi. Way more trendy to eat light and walk or run on my lunch break. So I better lay some ground rules. Feel free to copy them for yourself.
I’ll be wading through the lines of XXL shirts and stretchy pants for a crack at the infamous Krispy Kreme donut burger. It’s only 1,500 calories but I’ll make sure and add lettuce and tomato so I get my daily values.
If I’m still conscious after that then I’ll use the packets of Splenda I brought along to sprinkle on my deep fried Oreo cookies. That will be better than all that powdered sugar and will save me a few calories while I enjoy this popular snack. I’ll also plan on asking Penn’s for grilled chicken on a stick instead of fried. I hope no one laughs.
Satire aside, if you are really on a diet or trying to live a healthier lifestyle then the best thing to do at the Fair this year is skip the Midway food and just run about ten times up and down it.
Then meet me at the Giant Rat exhibit for a few pieces of Malone’s Taffy. It’s about 44 calories a piece so maybe I’ll eat two if I’ve done enough walking.
>>>MBJ-TV takes a look at the cuisine of the Mississippi State Fair.