Punxsutawney Phil hit with felony charge after botched spring forecast

March 22, 2013

Legal Affairs

Officials in Butler County, Ohio, have indicted a famous groundhog for the rash of cold winter-type weather we’ve been having, television news station Fox 19 in Cincinnati reports.

Punxsutawney Phil faces consequences of mistaken forecast.

Punxsutawney Phil faces consequences of mistaken forecast.

The indictment, filed by Butler County Prosecuting Attorney Michael Gmoser, alleges that on or about February 02, 2013, at Gobbler’s Knob, Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with

prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that spring would come early.

“I woke up this morning and the wind was blowing, the snow was flying, the temperatures were falling, and I said ‘Punxsutawney, you let us down,'” said Gmoser.

The suit goes on to say that, “contrary to the Groundhog Day report, a snowstorm and record low temperatures have been and are predicted to continue in the near future, which constitutes the offense of MISREPRESENTATION OF EARLY SPRING, an Unclassified Felony, and against the peace and dignity of the State Of Ohio.”

Phil’s supporters insist the case against him is not open-and-shut. A recent Sunday in Butler County saw temperatures climb to 65 degrees, they point out.

No word on why Phil can’t simply be fired for incompetence. Nor is there word yet on whether bond has been set for Phil, whom some believe could try to go underground to avoid his current legal troubles.

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